Sophomore

Then there’s this other guy….(lol if you’ve been reading my stories please don’t think “she’s such a whore” I’ve been in relations with none of these people except one; I guess folks just like me)
Anyway, I think it was last year or something I met this guy (I call him sophomore cause that’s what he was)
He said he had a crush on me; but of course I was still madly In love
With my exboyfriend/at-the-time-lover so I told him i wasn’t in a good place in my life and tried to hook him up with one of my friends (she on the other hand was way to childish and timid for that to work)
Long story short, this dude was also confiding in me some really personal stuff (I’m not gonna put his business out there though) but basically we stopped communicating after a while (I guess he got the point I wasn’t interested)
Fast forward to July 4;
My sister is having a party and he is there….I was high AF and he asked for my number and started back texting me. His issues are still a prominent concern for him and he’s brought it up (and thus I feel as though it would he best that we remain friend zone) but I don’t want him to think that’s the only reason I’m not interested in him….

Meh….idk

Don’t Call It Hood News

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So I’m not entirely sure of all the details but I know I was getting ready to destroy my phone this morning cause it wouldn’t stop ringing (so something told me to get up an see what was going on).
I soon discovered that last night two people had been killed at a night club in Montgomery, AL. Rapper, Doe B and a student from Troy University who used to go to ASU named Kim. I didn’t know either person but this is still sad. Kim had just turned 21 a few days ago and Doe B (also in his early 20s) was an up and coming artist from the area. I don’t even know how to feel about something like this…and apparently the guy that did it is on social media bragging about it (plus there’s rumors of a ‘war’ starting in the area) I can’t deal….
This club that it happened at has had many accounts like this too (with shooting and fights breaking out). It’s just been closed down and renamed each time though (but in the 4 years I’ve been in the city I’ve never heard of anyone dying)
I wish our community wasn’t like this (The Black Comminity). To have such hatred for one another and to not want to see each other succeed has led to things like this and it’s a scary thought. It’s also why many who would have wanted to come back an help out others to succeed are changing their minds and leaving their communities far behind them…is there really no hope for us? (Because that’s how I often feel; that the answer is no)
I end on this note: today’s principle of Kwanzaa is Ujima. It means collective work an Responsibility.
Black People if you’re reading (not just in Montgomery but everywhere), we’ve got to do better….we need to not only work TOGETHER but we need to take more responsibility for our actions.

Dear bitch…

To the bitch that ‘teaches’ organic chemistry; whose class I mistakenly signed up for….FUCK YOU, and I sincerely and Truely hate your freaking guts….and you better prey i dont ever see you in the street after hours cause if I do, it’s over for you. #TrueShit
So let me tell you what happened in a nutshell world. I’ve been unfortunate enough to have a teacher that’s first of all, dumb as fuck.
(And I may be a little bit more hostile than usual because I’m failing the class but world; there’s more to it than that)
If you see a student is struggling and if that student comes to you on more than one account expressing concern, wouldn’t the polite and logical thing to do be to help that student get a better grasp on the subject? Correct me if I’m wrong…and not only that; yesterday I emailed this woman one last time basically asking her if there was any extra work I could do to raise my grade….she didnt even answer my question, just played dumb like she didnt know what was happening….of course I’m not gonna go too far into a tangent cause today some more ignorant shit went down.
So I had to work in a group for my final microbiology paper (which I didn’t want to do for my own personal reasons but my group insisted) now keep in mind that before today (the due date) we had had this assignment for a month.
Now not only did I get stuck with a dud group, but today as I was gettin ready to turn in the paper one of the girls (who didn’t do anything really in the paper) approached me like “did you finish the paper” (obviously I have it in my hands) “let me see it”….so of course I realize that this simple bitch is tryin to check me Lowkey; tryin to make sure I did stuff right….
How TF you can’t even put together two simple ass paragraphs but wanna check me?!? Does that make any sense? Then the other day we in the library, in fixing stuff, not to mention the sorry excuse for a conclusion she gave me and she wait til I’m literally getting up to leave and ask if I need help….it took everything in me not to choke that ho…

*i need to hurry up and go home before I go to jail*

Road Rage

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So as many of you may already be aware of, I have an immense anger management problem. As a result I also have a really bad road rage problem, which my need for speed does not help. Long story short, today I was on my way home from school and needless to say a bunch of people woulda been getting chopped in the throat if I had seen them in the street (or if we hadn’t been on the highway)
I just don’t understand people. Half of them shouldn’t have even been driving….yea old people; I’m talking to you. People driving 50 in an 80 zone; then you had those people that kept riding their brakes stepping on them every 10 seconds. Not to mention the people driving extra slow but when you try to pass them they wanna speed up.
….but world you’ll be proud of me; I kept my cool the whole time; didn’t run anybody off the road or nothin *a lot of words slipped but that’s about it*

This Must Be Some Kind of Sick Joke….

So this past weekend, I took yet another practice MCAT test.  Shit was rediculous to say the least.  I did however manage to do better on this one than I did on the last one.  But still no close to  the 30 I want. 

But today, sitting in my organic chemistry class, I couldn’t help but feel like getting up and punching my professor in the throat….I feel like the system has failed me miserably.  Why the hell do we have a ‘pre-med’ curriculium if it’s not going to properly prepare us for these tests???  Idk, maybe its just at my school.  But I can’t help but notice that everything I’ve learned in these classes that these people have told us is supposed to be on the MCAT didn’t show up not once on any of the practice tests I’ve taken….and if i see one more fuckin mechanism I’m gonna go to jail…

What*Would*Budda*Do?

I just stopped at Starbucks real quick for a drink; as I’m getting out my car a man pulls up beside me…

“excuse me miss.  I’m trying to gather up the rest of the money to pay for my nine month old baby’s seizure medication….I only need $18 more dollars.  By the graces of God would you be able to help me?”

now first of all as soon as i opened my car door i smelled the weed coming from this man’s car.  and secondly when i stood up and looked inside to see who was talking to me, not only did i not see a car seat; but there was a bunch of pillows in the back seat.  of course there was something that looked like a diaper bag in the front seat though. 

I was hesitant at first to even step towards his car because: its the middle of the night and I’m the only Black person in the middle of a basically empty parking lot…but then i remembered all the stores around me had windows and people inside could see me. 

so i was like “sorry i don’t have any cash on me” *which was true* “let me check my car real quick”  I found like $5 and gave it to him…i just felt really bad that he had to do all that just to get a couple of extra bucks….especially if it was just to get his next fix.

Bad party move….

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Showed up to this party last night, we had heard it was lame but we was already high so we was gonna make the best outta a bad situation…..then we stepped n the bathroom to roll up. This shit is fowl man!
Afterwards we went back out to the crowd and as we were standing there in the corner looking around at the rachetness; we slowly realized that this was just a gathering of freshmen, dropouts and locals….it was time to go….#teamOut