Relapse

*its kinda sick when you think about it; or tragic really…it just hit me a few hours ago when someone asked me “you didn’t relapse did you?” of course I knew exactly what they were talking about…*

 

They say that pain is weakness leaving the body but I wonder if the roles can be reversed

Weakness consumed me entirely on too many occasions; far too many to count.  Except my subconscious would keep a mental tally

Even if my supplier was only doing a job by fulfilling my need and signing off on my prescription

So much they should probably call me Eminem or maybe just Slim.  I refilled then I relapsed but I never quite reached recovery

Over and over again I’m turning to avoid the lost footage embedded permanently in the frontal lobe because an elephant never forgets

Thought I was utilizing my weakness to remove my pain but instead only moving backwards…this is my relapse accompanied solely by this regret

But admitting to none because once you’ve admitted is when you get committed…and here in theory lies the problem…

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